Finding Peace
by La Zorrita
Summary: An aged Alanna comes to terms with her life and finds the missing peace she has always sought. And this summary is horrid. Just read and enjoy.


**Okay. This is my ending to the whole sage in Tortall. I have always liked Alanna and Jonathon as a pairing over Alanna and George. I spent a long time coming up with how they could end up together. And just recently decided that Alanna would not have liked being queen. So this is my solution. **

**Yes, people die. Characters we like. Deal with it. Any and all flames will be used for S'mores. **

**Also, the characters do not belong to me. I don't own them. I'm just playing for a little while. Hehehe. **

**So enjoy!  
Zorrita**

**Finding Peace:  
Chapter 1: So Tired**

Alanna was tired, that much was an undisputed fact. She was tired of getting old, she was tired of being alone, she was tired of burying people she cared about, but above all, she was tired of being a living legend.

In the past two years, since Thayet's untimely death, there had been too many opportunities to wear black: Myles and Mistress Cooper had died the same night. Coram and Rispath last spring and then George a year and a half ago. Alanna had returned from Corus only to find George slumped over in his chair, dead. Of all of them, George's had been the hardest. Especially after learning he had been poisoned. Alanna had blamed herself, or rather her living legend self that the world seemed to have created for her.

Alanna sighed and shook her head. She needed to banish such thoughts from her mind, otherwise she would never be whole again. Alanna nudged her horse up the steep ridge. George's death had triggered the wanderer's gene in her. After a month, Pirate's Swoop had seemed to tame. Around the same time she had started dreaming. It was the same dream three or four times a week. At first Alanna had brushed it off as nothing, but then it was rare for her to dream like that.

The dream was of Fort Drell and the valley around the river. The site of her first experience of war. It was also the first place she had felt the sting of death at the hands of a cruel enemy. After another month of dreaming about the river, Alanna had saddled up Moonlight's great granddaughter and packed her gear. With her children grown, there was no need for her to remain in Pirate's Swoop, and for that Alanna was grateful.

~Lioness~

Three days later, Alanna crossed through the boundaries of the river valley. It seemed as unchanged as it had been when she had ridden in years past. She was the change. Then Alanna had been an untried squire. Now she was a living legend, and desperately longing to be the squire again. Alanna guided her mare down the ridge and into the old clearing near the waterfall. Any evidence of the previous camp had long since faded away, but Alanna remembered the details in her memory.

Alanna winced as she dismounted. Her bones ached in places they had not ached before. She was just fifty years old, but it seemed her age was beginning to catch up with her. Besides the aches, usually in the cold or rain, her coppery curls were highlighted with more white hairs than she cared to admit, and the lines around her eyes were just beginning to deepen. But beyond that she was still Alanna; short, stubborn Alanna. Nothing would change that, not even old age.

With the skill of one long practiced, Alanna made her small camp. She unsaddled and brushed the mare then tied her up to graze. Her tent was pitched in minutes and the little bit of gear stowed safely inside. With her chores finished, Alanna found herself unable to sit still. She strolled off to walk along the river, old memories returning. Yet again she found herself questioning the reason she had come up here. To be honest the dreams had seemed to be some kind of sending, and they demanded she ride to Fort Drell.

"I was wondering if I'd find you here." A deep voice asked from behind Alanna. She felt a smile ghost across her face. There was no need to reach for her sword.

"So I wasn't the only one to follow a dream." Alanna answered. She turned to face Jonathon. He stood a few feet away, one hand holding his horse's reins.

"It seems that way."

They stood in silence for a moment, perhaps remembering the last time they had met, George's funeral, or maybe what had happened between them afterwards. Jonathon had aged since then, his black hair was flecked with more white then Alanna's own. And his eyes more lined. He had resigned the crown in favor of his son following Thayet's death. Alanna had never found a chance to ask him why.

"Come on, I'll show you my camp." Alanna answered. Jonathon smiled at her and let her lead the way. She found her thoughts beginning to betray her as she walked. The River Drell had been the first time they had kissed, really kissed. It had also been the first time Faithful had accused her of having feelings for Jon.

Jonathon pitched his own tent near Alanna's and took care of his own horse. Alanna started to build a fire, there was a breeze of the river and it was getting cold. Jonathon turned back to join her when he was finished. It was then Alanna noticed that Jon wore no evidence of his royal blood. He was dressed in rough linen and wool. He looked more like a knight then the king he still seemed to be.

"So as strange as this sounds, I knew I'd find you here." Jonathon said after the long minutes of silence. Alanna said nothing. "Ever since Roald became king, I kept dreaming about this place. Funny to dream about a place so clogged with death."

"I know what you mean." Alanna asked. She swallowed and licked her lips. This was the first opportunity she would have to learn the truth, the truth she desperately wanted. "Why did you resign the crown?"

Silence enveloped the small fire circle and the two around it. Jon looked up at Alanna, his sapphire eyes finding her own violet ones. Alanna struggled to keep herself from getting lost in his eyes as she had on several occasion previously.

"I was tired of it. There was no privacy, no moment to just be Jonathon. I was always the king. Even to Gary. When Thayet was alive, I could handle it, but after…I guess it became too much." Jonathon answered. His voice was low, like the whispered words were somewhat of a betrayal. "Certainly you know the feeling? The part of being a legend."

"It gets tiring to hear one's adventures told by others." Alanna answered. She turned to look into the fire. For a second the first vision she had ever seen in the fire flashed in her mind. "Do you remember the Black City?"

"An interesting change of topic." Jon said with a chuckle. "How could I forget? It was the first time you save my life. If I'd gone in there alone…"

Jon's voice died off and each was left with their thoughts. Alanna had never figured out how Duke Roger's spell that day had not affected her. All she knew was the Duke had convinced Jonathon into risking his life and she would have to protect him. Sometimes she still had nightmares of what could have been that day, had she not gone or had something else happened and they had been unable to defeat the Ysandir.

A wolf howled in the distance, night had fallen over the valley. Alanna was suddenly tired. Her long ride caught up with her. She yawned.

"We should turn in for the night." Alanna suggested. Jon nodded.

"We can talk in the morning."

Alanna banked the fire and turned to her tent. There was a moment of hesitation between the two, a moment that could have been. But Jon just smiled and went into his own tent, leaving Alanna for hers. With a sigh she snuggled down into her bedroll. It would be interesting to see her dreams tonight. Now that she had fulfilled the sending. And with that she drifted off into sleep.

~Lioness~


End file.
